Altering viewpoints and being thankful for crap- both good and bad

My last semester of college, I was required to take a specific class for seniors in my particular English major only; my Major is Language, Literature, and Writing and the class is called Senior Seminar. Senior Seminar “requires students to understand and analyze literature in English from different historical and cultural perspectives, with an emphasis on current trends in literary theory” and was supposed to be excessively time consuming and difficult. I figured that since I had already been forced to read and “analyze” literature that I considered to be a bit too sexual (which I called porn), a bit too political (mostly bra burners and about surpassing the equal in equal rights), and too nonlinear (postmodern) for my reading tastes, I figured I could tackle the different “cultural perspectives” and even the “current trends in literary theory” – both of which I already had decided I didn’t agree with or want to influence my own style, theories, or worldview. I had been steadfast all throughout college; I liked my viewpoint and didn’t want it altered by all the “new trends” of the world because I am a traditionalist. Or so I thought…

I fought that class and everything it stood for the entire time that I was in it. I even wrote about how Piccoline in “The Dwarf” is the only honest character in the novel, just to get a reaction from my professor; the entire semester I wrote exactly opposite of what was expected, to fight it. I even cheered on Humbert Humbet in his quest for Lolita. But to fight something that you supposedly don’t believe in, you first have to understand it, and in that understanding, some of it soaks in…And a year later, as I sit here and type this, I can honestly say that not only did that class adjust my thinking and worldview, it made me a better person. In reality everything has the potential to alter viewpoints; it’s about learning and growing- and even self-actualization.

All of this leads to the request that I received for today’s blog. Someone wanted me to write about what I’m thankful for. I’m not thankful for material things, accomplishments, or even the number of friends that I have. What I’m most thankful for is all of the good crap that has contributed to ME – like my Senior Seminar class, my best friend, her husband’s penis escapades, the drummer’s family SEEING ME, that first moment when Matthew looked into my eyes as an infant to show me what love really is, and my not so foolish optimistic hope for more. I’m also thankful for the bad crap too, because while it hurt me, it also shaped ME – the broken nose I got when I was 17 that broke ME, being on my own and struggling for the 6 years after that, learning how to perfect the smile so nobody knows how bad I hurt, my stalker (oh, I need to write about that yet), my everyman ditching me, and now struggling and being poor yet again. And maybe I’m not answering this the way my follower wants me to..but I’m basically thankful for the fact that I am ME, that I have had all the crap in my life (both good and bad), and the people who matter the most to me love me unconditionally- including my uniqueness and messes.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: