I’m a pain in the ass for no reason at all, why is that?

When I first sit down in the morning, I have no clue what I’m going to write about. It just comes out. Someone did suggest yesterday that my next post should be titled “I’m a pain in the ass for no reason at all, why is that?” Ouch, that hurts! There are lots of reasons why I’m a pain in the ass- and because I LOVE getting requests, I’m going to placate this follower. The crap that I have had in my past (both good and bad) has enhanced my “uniqueness” and prompted the reason I am on a endless journey of self-actualization; those are all the reasons I’m a pain in the ass…Maslow was a genius in not only knowing that it’s a process, but also that it’s a never ending process for most of us. There’s really no getting there, there should always be more…However, Maslow did claim that 2% of the population will get there (and please don’t judge me for not posting the links and properly citing it; google it if you really want to know), but some of us will get there to a limited degree- and almost reach our full potential as people. Maslow identified 15 characteristics that self actualizers have. In a nutshell, the more you have, the more you’ve reached your full potential. And if you haven’t googled it, before one gets to this level, the other needs have to already be met- physiological, safety, belonging/love, and self-esteem. I got those. And don’t think that just because I’m wimpy about falling in love that I overlooked that. It’s about belonging and all that deep crap; I got that. Plus lots of people discount Maslow’s entire theory, whatever. We believe in what we want to, and this is my thing that I’m going with.

The 15 characteristics of a self-actualized person are:

1. They perceive reality efficiently and can tolerate uncertainty
2. Accept themselves and others for what they are
3. Spontaneous in thought and action
4. Problem-centered (not self-centered)
5. Unusual sense of humor
6. Able to look at life objectively
7. Highly creative
8. Resistant to enculturation, but not purposely unconventional
9. Concerned for the welfare of humanity
10. Capable of deep appreciation of basic life-experience
11. Establish deep satisfying interpersonal relationships with a few people
12. Peak experiences
13. Need for privacy
14. Democratic attitudes
15. Strong moral/ethical standards

I’m totally happy to share that I really believe that I’ve got half this list down-pat already. But what’s even more awesome about this is that Maslow also described the behaviors that lead people to self-actualization. Those I have all of; the first is my favorite- Experiencing life like a child, with full absorption and concentration. Yep, that’s me. The second is a bit more tricky, but still fits- Trying new things instead of sticking to safe paths. If you’ve been reading my blogs, you know that I’ve made a ton of changes in both my life and self that have been WAY unsafe. And I’m just going to lump the rest together or we’ll be here all day and you’ll get eyestrain: Listening to your own feelings in evaluating experiences instead of the voice of tradition, authority or the majority; Avoiding pretense (‘game playing’) and being honest; Being prepared to be unpopular if your views do not coincide with those of the majority; Taking responsibility and working hard; Trying to identify your defenses and having the courage to give them up. I’m on the path, lol.

So, to my dear follower: I am a pain in the ass because of my “uniqueness,” my “crap,” and my path to self-actualization. I’m getting there and you’ll just have to bear with me in the process. After all, living vicariously through me and my most difficult obstacle (the fun and mess of dating, trying to do things right in my search for the real everyman- not that poser who ditched me) is entertaining. This is a time of growth for me. Oh, and listen to Muse’s “Unintended.” Matt Bellamy (cutie that he is) actually wrote it after talking with a woman on the phone that he never met, but really liked. It’s my new favorite song; it acknowledges the crap, inspires hope, and is PERFECT!




  1. […] I once said that writing is like talking, only just written down. I also said that I feel that when I’m writing, I’m talking to specific people. Now I know that’s not it. I talk more than any person on the planet, using my on stage voice (even in small groups) and the corresponding theatrical gesturing – to ensure everyone can hear me and is properly engaged. Sometimes I talk so quickly that my mouth can’t keep up with my thoughts and I skip complete words (like we do when we read). And most times I talk in circles after getting side tracked, losing my train of thought, before finding it again. My friends call it “speaking Sandy” as if it’s a separate language or dialect one has to learn. And it probably is. But my writing doesn’t reflect any of that. At least I hope it doesn’t. I write with more thought, intention, and feeling than I talk. I write about things that I don’t talk about, but that need to get out, that I need to get out. It’s possible that I simply don’t have the right people to talk with about this crap, but there’s that unwritten (and unspoken) rule about not saying things that people don’t want to hear, so I write. And while I hope that you can both see and hear my voice in my writing, I also hope that you are properly engaged, entertained, are even a bit compelled to assimilate with my crap and plight for self-actualization, and start your own. After all, the world would be a better place if we all owned up to our crap, got over it, learned from it, and reached our full potential as people. Maybe there would be less crap…Oh, and read here about reaching full potential and self-actualization https://everyonehascrap.wordpress.com/2013/12/21/im-a-pain-in-the-ass-for-no-reason-at-all-why-is-tha…. […]

  2. […] and self-esteem. As people, we fundamentally need others. I wrote about it in this post: https://everyonehascrap.wordpress.com/2013/12/21/im-a-pain-in-the-ass-for-no-reason-at-all-why-is-tha…. But, since I am an overachiever by nature, I am seeking the highest level of Maslow’s need […]

  3. […] you’ve been following my blog, you know that I am in the process of self-actualization (https://everyonehascrap.wordpress.com/2013/12/21/im-a-pain-in-the-ass-for-no-reason-at-all-why-is-tha&#8230😉 and am looking for who I have referred to as my “everyman.” You also know that I have […]

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