Lots of crap on the past couple of days…both good and bad. I’m going to accept a job today. And while I’m not even remotely sure if anyone else has applied for the position (or that’s it’s my job yet), I am confident that it is. It’s perfect for me- after the hour long phone conversation I had with my new boss. I have another interview scheduled for Monday as well, but for a job that will only accentuate the mindless robot who I don’t want to be. This perfect job is really close to where “that guy,” my everyman, works and lives- not even kidding, it’s like 10 minutes. So I will have a constant reminder of being stood up for the first time ever because I actually have to pass them both on my way. Another piece of crap is that my 16 year old is refusing to eat his free lunch and is making and taking a lunch. He wants me to buy snacks, drinks, and roast beef, UGH! There’s a reason we get a free lunch, it’s because we fall into the income guidelines…Also, I got a text from Sprint yesterday, apparently I’m over my minutes by one minute. I get 450 minutes, but unlimited cell to cell. It resets Sunday, so I’m ok, but it prompted me to access my call log. And what I found was completely baffling and confirmed that while I might be an idiotic mess, I wasn’t exaggerating my “relationship” with my everyman.
Sprint doesn’t break down the call log as cell calls, sprint to sprint, or even nights and weekends. So I had to print the log and see if they maybe made a mistake in not assigning a cell call as a free call. In doing so, I totaled up the calls from my everyman. Oh, and by the way, still nothing from him except what he told my friend: that I’m a bit of a mess and was too serious after only 2 dates. But as I said before, it seemed like more because of all the calls. And I was right to think that. He first called me on November 18 and stopped on the 5th of December. Within that time of only 17 days, he called me 37 times for a total of a whopping 968 minutes- that’s an average of 2.2 calls per day at 57 minutes each day. And while I might be obsessing (I am, whatever), that amount of attention in such a short time frame indicates something more of a relationship than just having had 2 dates. Oh, and that’s not even including the texts either, but I’m not THAT obsessed to look up how many of those there were…whatever. So I wrote him yesterday (like an idiot) and told him not to freak out if he saw me because of the new job, that I was still annoyed that he hasn’t acknowledged me at all, and that I (stupidly) still want to be his friend. No shock that I got nothing. Oh, but Sprint was right, I am over. So don’t call me unless it’s from your cell or after Sunday.
Connections (like empty words in space, free lunches, and even my everyman) only matter if the signal is picked up and the circuit is completed; otherwise, words fall on deaf ears, lunches for 16 year old boys cost a fortune, and “that guy” shifts to a nobody. At least I wish he would, he’s obviously not my everyman, or he’d do what I want him to…or do I? It’s making me think now what I really want. I think it’s what we all want- to be heard, to not have to pay for your free lunch, and to not have to deal with disappointment of having wasted your time after “only 2 dates” and 968 everyman minutes of your life. But whoever said there was no such thing as a free lunch was right; there’s a cost in putting out any signal, trying to complete the circuit, and make the connection. It’s a personal cost that relies on hope- even for a smiling methodical unfeeling robot like me, who is really pretending not to be an idiot with drippy tears.